Thursday, June 3, 2010

45 Days of Crud...I Mean, Crude...

It’s been 45 long days since the BP disaster began. That’s 64,800 minutes of this dog’s life with worry on my mind. I cannot use the term oil “spill”, as what happened in the Gulf is no spill… its a full fulmination of oil! A spill is something that is easily cleaned up—just look at this example of Wilbur and I erasing a milk spill.

Now, imagine us trying to lick up this “spill”!

The volume of oil has become so great, that, as Wyatt Cenac of The Daily Show observed , “they (BP) gave up on getting the oil out of the water a long time ago. Now the challenge is to get all the water and dead shrimp and stuff, out of the oil.”

I’m especially ruffled since the offending organization is British, as am I. This CEO chap, Tony Hayward, is giving us Brits a bad name, I tell you. We Brits are generally thoughtful, and always polite. So, why is this bloke, Hayward, spewing ridiculously crude words, in addition to all the crude oil? He actually, publicly, said this weekend that he “wants his life back”. Can we say greedy, careless, narcissistic bastard? I am embarrassed, and perturbed, to share my heritage with such a cold-hearted, avaricious, piggish and selfish man.

On May 30, Hayward had the brazenness to tell CNN that he thought the reason many of the cleanup response crews were falling ill, may have been “food poisoning or some other reason” than the oil and dispersants. You’d have to be an incredibly dense dog to believe that balderdash!

BP has hired a new spin doctor to try and clean up Hayward’s faux pas (since they can’t clean up the oil). I find it hysterically ironic (in a sick and demented way), that the new hire is, none other than Anne Kolton, (not to be confused with the similarly repugnant, Ann Coulter), the former press secretary to the master duck hunter, Mr. Energy himself, Dick Cheney.

I have no solid solutions, my friends, just more frustration. But since I am a naturally optimistic pup, I can always find an upside to any situation. I think the upside of this calamity, is the possibility that the collective We, Americans, may begin a paradigm shift in the way we view energy, and our dependance on oil. Note: The collective We, does not include Gov. Wunderkind Jindal (R-La) and Senator Vitter (R-La); they are ready to drill again, and soon. I guess that proves that some fools just can’t learn from past mistakes.

Fired up, and ready to go! (again…)

Please note: this post originally published in Atticus's daily blog:

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